Welcome to the Prophets' Brain-Hacking Hub

We're a group of highly-trained, hyper-intelligent prophets with a penchant for hacking into other people's brains.

Our methods are unorthodox, our results are unpredictable, and our clients are always... confused.

We offer the following brain-hacking services:

Don't believe us? Check out our testimonials from satisfied clients!

Or, if you're feeling adventurous, take a free brain scan to see if you're a good candidate for our services.

Disclaimer

Disclaimer: Our brain-hacking services may cause temporary memory loss, chronic confusion, or permanent existential dread. Use at your own risk.